keziah keziah keziah

i realized that i missed many things in thailand.

on sunday, i was so happy to just chit chat with all my cousins.

it was super fun and so relaxing.
yesterday, was totally amazing too.
i realized how much i missed my thai friends.
we went to eat at the baiyoke skytower, the tallest building in bangkok.
and when we finish eating, we went to the rooftop.
then i started saying "i really miss u guys wa"
then my friends were like don't say that or else we are gonna start crying.
i miss every single friend in my group.
Bebe: when i came back i still laugh and smile about ur shoes wa. lol. love ur craziness
Poy: so happy to hear ur voice and see ur smile. it cheers me up.
Nan: i'm so happy for u! u really have become a grown person.
Punk: damn it, my twin. y do twins need to be so far apart? khode miss u a'
Asama: i'm speechless. my heart breaks to see u less often cuz ur going to canada.
okok...let me stop...darn it. i miss u guys soooo much.

today i dyed my hair.
it's coke color.
and i also let them just blow dry my hair to be curly.
if anyone has a comment on it, please tell me. LOL
...

another important issue is that i got accepted in NTU!
seriously, u know what i really feel.
just now when i was praying with my parents
i felt pity for myself
and my mom was asking y r u crying
i told her that
i feel that i got the best uni in thailand
but i went for not the best uni in singapore
now
i got the one of the best uni in singapore
and i don't wanna lose again

....
yet, I know that God's plan is the best for me.
i know that i made the right choice to come to singapore.
HIS plan is always perfect for me.
if God still wants me to stay in SIM
i will stay.

not a good sleep

1st thing:
last nite i called my ex just to say hi
and asked him about his girl
he said they're not bf and gf yet
i was like sheh....dude...go look for another girl
ur so boring.
lol. i want him to be happy u know.
and yes i'm over him if someone really wants to know..
i just called him cuz i just miss him like friend

2nd thing:
i've said very mean stuff to someone.
and i'm sorry

3rd thing:
i couldn't sleep well last nite.
i just realize smth...hehe
it's a long story

4th thing:
i told my mom smth
that i regret telling her
haha!!!

5th thing:
two of my singaporean friends are here already
and i will b busy

6th thing:
i miss someone
but not my ex ok?
someone not in thailand now

7th thing:
i'm super confused

8th thing:
i feel that i'm missing smth

9th thing:
i have not read the bible for too long

10th thing:
i' mstill thinking very deeply
and i'm super confuse of what i want.


last but not least
i feel so bullshit mode in my life now

back in thailand

i cannot stop eating when i reach thailand!
so many nice things to eat!
i'll write about my first day back home in like a timeline:
16.30 reached the airport and saw my parents ...i'm super happy
17.30 reached home and play with puma bento...they still stink! but i still love them
18.00 took a bath and went downstairs to go eat dinner...
i could smell the nice fragrance of the steamed brown rice...all those chilli paste...and my
maid's soup...lol...
19.00 beg my dad to go drive with me around the town...jump, my little cousin went with us too.
19.30 i drove around the town for 1 hour and my dad wanted to eat ice cream so we stopped at
swenson and ate....
20.00 reached home and played a little bit of facebook and showed my parents pics in singapore
20.30 went to my only sis (cousin)'s house and just spend time together. i didnt met her for 2 years already
22.00 come back home and sleep

ฉัน

ฉัน...
ขอโทษที่ไม่ได้บอกลาเธอก่อน

the bullshit game

i remember playing bullshit card games!
it's like....every person puts down a card and states what the card he/she put has on the pile.
now the person may be lying or telling the truth...we don't know.
that's where the word bullshit comes in.
if any opponent thinks that the person is lying what he had put on the pile, he will say "BULLSHIT!" and the opponent has to open the pile if it was really bullshit.

anyway, this game was played in the movie how to lose a guy in 10 days too. by the way, it's a great movie.

recently, i've been saying and thinking of saying this word many times.
reasons:
i'm bored of hearing lies,
i'm bored of people thinking me as stupid,
i wanna say when it's like a "whatever" statement,
or i say when it ain't matter to me anymore ....like "just do ur own thing"

cocoa or coffee?

taken by me when i went with amaris for a photoshooting day

which one would u choose?

cocoa: almost everyone likes cocoa cuz it's sweet and nice. however, if u try the real cocoa nut, u'll find that it's quite bitter. yet, not many ppl know about this fact. its outside texture is hard and not easy to break too. the smell is quite nice which makes ppl feel happy.

coffee: not everyone likes coffee cuz it's bitter and dark. however, the smell of its fragrance is mysterious and nice. the seed may look very dark! yet its taste inside is very rich! maybe it was known to be bitter, but is it really bitter?

the girl and the fire

is playing with fire fun?

the little girl likes to play with fire because it's dancing all the time with irregular rythms.
the unpredictable waves of it is just nice to look at.
everyday she'll go play with the fire outside the house.
and she enjoys it very much.
then one day, the fire was playing too much on the little girl that she ALMOST got burnt on her ankles.
So later on, the little girl stop playing with the fire and created a transparent barrier.
the fire was not pleased and came knocking trying to break the barrier.
the little girl shouted that she didn't want to play with the fire anymore cuz it's too risky unless the fire can prove that it will only provide the warmth she needed on the cold lonely nights.
if that is such the case, the little girl will consider if she will open her barrier.

which direction?

let's pretend keziah is lost in the jungle.
:D
she's stuck in the middle of nowhere.
if she turns to the right. she knows that it's usually the correct way.
if she turns to the left. she knows that it's a lot riskier and it seems like the wrong way too but who knows maybe u will get lucky
if she walks straight she'll just trust her instincts and just leave everything behind.
if she walks back she'll just give up everything and just leave it like that.


but keziah say to herself
"what the heck!"
i'm just gonna call the helicopter to pick me up and just get out of this lost, complicated jungle.
:D

i'm hurt...

keziah is hurt because...
she has broken someone's heart really badly.
but she knows that she can really think of him as a friend.
keziah tears fell down when she read the email.
keziah can feel his pain...
but she cannot help it...what he heard was true...
but she felt shaky for a while...then as time passed by...
she knew that she like him only as friend.
she should have known that he really fell for her too much.
and shouldn't have gone with him.
she felt bad. she understands his feelings.
but

"i'm sorry, i...just really can't...i try to think of u as smth else
but it seems that it's just me....please find another girl...
i feel that our goals of our lives are different somehow..."

please don't cry...keziah is not worth ur cry.
seriously, the girl u will marry is worth ur cry...